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Crazy Talk

Uranus

I look up at the sky some nights and I have to wonder..
Is that twinkle uranus?
How big is uranus?
What is uranus made of?
How far away is uranus?
Could I live on uranus?

Weird Dream

third eye dreamer I had this dream about going to school and making straight A's. Then I had another dream about always missing that class. Then I had a third dream that featured a little old lady who seemed very knowledgable. I asked the old lady where my second class had gone. She located the class from my first dream and handed it to me in my third dream. I was very thankful.

Clairvoyant Cashes In On Clumsy Cashiers

Italian police are looking for a man who is accused of multiple robberies using only words. Italian officials have released video footage of a man, in hopes that someone will remember this master of the mind. All reports from victims of this hairy hypnotist are always the same, the clerk says the last thing they remember is this man saying “look in to my eyes” before realizing their registers raked dry. The dirty rotten scoundrel walks out with the goods and the cash. Brilliant!

Subaru's Big Tent Event Makes Little Sense

small tent big event subaru Subaru has an ad for a "small tent big event" that involves a car salesman in a gorilla suit with a monkey being told by a co-worker that it is not "that kind of tent" and then pointing to a small campfire scene as an example of the type of tent meant by "big tent event." I have long wondered just what the hell kind "tent" is represented by the guy in the gorilla suit. This question has been asked on the net by a few people and there seem to be three different answers.

Nancy Grace Makes Me Sick

I wish I could kick her in the face. Kind of reminds you of what Nancy Grace does to due process huh?

Kate Bayne Sounds Like A Moron

The statement from Katie Bayne in that Microsoft advertisement doesn't even make sense. Maybe it's because MS decided to chop the interview up and make her look incompetent, but the end result is an incoherent and unresponsive retort from Bayne.

The original question is, "how important is it to get the right information instead of just a lot of information?"

Katie fails to answer the question while at the same time blathering on and spouting nonsensical ad slogans that are apparently revered in the marketing world but in reality makes no sense at all.

Katie Bayne is probably a great advertiser because the main point of an ad is to create a smoke-screen of BS and sell you a product at ten times it's original value.

A Room With A Bell

Driving, and shopping, and eating, and working. Somewhere, somehow they all got chewed up and spit back out and they don't taste like living anymore. Don't you see what it's like in this wearing blender of a world? Every day is an agonizing ordeal. Like balancing a pot of scalding water on your head while people whip at your legs and butt.....

Ah, you never forget your senior prom.... You think I'm SICK?! Well, the only disease I've got is Modern Life, a schnutbusting gauntlet of inefficiency and misery that's one long parade of let-downs, put-downs, trickle downs, shutouts, freezeouts, sell-outs, numnuts, nincompoops and nimrods, all making every day as much fun as waxing a flaming Pontiac with your tongue, where even if you do luck into the possibility of some fleeting pleasure, like, say, if some nymphomaniac telephone operators with the muscle control of Rumanian mat-slappers agree to a little Strip Air Hockey, it'll be over before it starts 'cuz some vowel-lacking, feta-reeking cab-jockey slams his Checker up your hatchback and the cab is owned by some pinata spanker from a Santeria cult in Xoacalpa who starts shaking chicken bones at you and gives you a boil on your neck so big all it needs is Michael Jordan's autograph to make it complete, and even with all this, with ALL THIS, I still drag my sorry butt off the Sealy every morning and stick my face in the reaping machine for one more day, knowing when it's time to flash the cosmic card key at those Pearly Gates, I won't be in the coffin anyway 'cuz some underhanded undertaker sold my heart, pancreas and other assorted Good 'N' Plenty to that same Santeria cult!

So does anybody really wonder why ANYBODY is hanging onto sanity by the atoms on the tips of their fingernails while life dirty-dances on their digits, and is it really any wonder that I seem DERANGED???!!